Lives Well Lived

Iain, our Support Manager reflects on what kind of legacy we leave with our lives...

Last month I had the painful privilege of being asked to speak at the funeral of one of our dedicated volunteers – someone who had given much time, energy and commitment to Hope Nottingham over the last few years.

As sad as the occasion inevitably was, losing someone is always painful whatever the circumstances, I left reflecting on a life that was spent making a difference to other people – not just through the person’s volunteering and service at Hope Nottingham but across many years in many different settings and circumstances. In short, it was a life well lived – someone who in many different ways, looked outwards to help and make things better for others around them.  It was a good reminder, if one were needed, that it’s the difference we make to other people – how we make them feel, how we speak to them, care for them and spend time with them – that is what people notice and remember about each of us.

“Legacy” is something that we often hear a lot about – what lasting impact will this project have? What achievements will people remember? What difference will a scheme make? How will the outcomes of things be evaluated in the future? From the Olympic Games to Prime Ministers - leaving a legacy, something that will be remembered or even celebrated in years to come, seems to be an important motivation. As a society we like to make our mark, and commemorate the great and the good (or even perhaps not so great or good!) with statues, street names, pictures on bank notes and so on! However,  like so much else, perhaps the most impactful legacies are the small, quiet things. And these small actions, attitudes and interactions matter. They echo not just through our own lives but far beyond it.

In my short address at the funeral, I used a quote by the author Terry Pratchett that I feel sums this idea up well – and was particularly true of the volunteer concerned: “No one is finally gone until the ripples they cause in the world die away, until the clock wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone’s life is only the core of their actual existence.”

Whilst I suspect few of us will be end up having schools, stadiums or acts of parliament named after us, all of us do have the opportunity and resources to leave a more important legacy – one whose ripples can keep on spreading.  Those people I’ve personally lost, who burn brightest in my memory, don’t live on in my mind and heart because of their professional accomplishments, the status they reached or even the successes they achieved. They do so because of the way the made me feel – loved, cared for, valued, accepted – and they inspire me to want to make others feel that way too. 

And perhaps that’s what leaving a legacy is really about: being the best version of ourselves we can be. Looking to support, care and value others in whatever sphere we are able to do so, to whatever extent we can. Acts of care and compassion, however small, are never wasted – and often we may never appreciate the far-reaching impact that these seemingly small ripples can have. Maybe the gentle ripple of compassionate words, simple kindnesses, and generosity of heart washing up against a distant future shore are the true signs of a life well lived.